Pothi padh padh jag mua, pandit bhaya na koy, Dhai aakhar prem ke padhe so pandit hoy.
According to Kabir, a sufi saint of India, “Many people are fond of reading books n books but they never acquire wisdom, but the person who understands the meaning of a single word LOVE becomes noble and learned.
What is love ?
What does it mean ?
Wow to love ?
Wow do you know you are loved ?
What is self love ?
One fine morning when I got up quite early, these questions arose in my mind while in meditation. These were questions, just like “Who am I”, chasing me for so many years. I read so many books of great teachers, so many people talked about unconditional love and motherly love. But what is love? What is the real experience? That was my question.
In those moments of inquiry and meditation I felt sudden enlightenment, as I had got the right answer. At the time of break-fast I asked my wife, Sushma: Could you please explain to me what is love? How do you realize you love someone? What happens in those moments? My wife, who often used to complain that I do not love her, could not reply and looked into my eyes for the reply.
I said: When you are 100% present in the company of someone, you are in love. You are deeply connected with the other. Sushma immediately responded: Yes, this is what I have been trying to tell you for more than 30 years.
We discovered the secret of a fulfilling relationship. Though it was not a new thing, it is something just like thoughtless state about which so many great teachers have talked about. In relationships, sometimes it happens naturally with someone without any effort. You are thoughtless and deeply connected with someone as if it were the first time you are meeting someone and you fell in love. That’s why it is said first impression is the last impression.
With little effort and practices you can do it with every person you meet. This will not only make your relations more fulfilling but also you will feel so much relaxed and peaceful at the same time. You will get all the benefits of meditation.
Usually when we talk about love, immediately we think of male – female, girlfriend – boyfriend and sex. But love and sex are two different emotions. That is why I have kept them under separate headings. The basis of every relationship is only love. True love means your 100% attention and presence. These are the only ingredients which make any relationship fulfilling.
Love is the quality of your awareness without judgments. When you are non-judgmental, acceptance also happens. Then you accept people as they are and that is when people feel at home in your presence. They experience the feelings and emotions of love. This is the basic need of all beings, not just human beings. I want to change Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. The need of love should come before the need of food and shelter. Love is the most fundamental need of human being and all living beings.
Why are there so many relationships issues? It’s just because the most essential element is missing and very few fortunate people get and experience it. What is the solution? Charity begins at home! We should start loving ourselves then only we will be able to really love others.
Loving ourselves? This would seem to be more difficult! How do we know how to love ourselves? Solution is the same as how to love someone, i.e., being 100% present with you,yourself.
If you can truly love yourself, you will never feel lonely. Once a disciple asked his teacher,“Why do some people feel lonely”? His answer was,“It means he is in bad company”. If you can accept and love yourself the way you are, then you can really enjoy yourself.
When you fall in love with someone, for that moment, life is not the same. Every thing becomes so beautiful and you are on the top of the world. Why do we say that you have fallen in love with someone? It is because your ego has fallen and now you are concerned more about other’s will. However, in my opinion, because this feeling of well-being is dependent on others, if something goes wrong with others, you become so much more miserable than ever before. When you start loving yourself you actually rise in love because there is no danger of falling.
Power of self love
Love is the supreme emotion. When you are in self love, you are deeply connected with yourself, your inner core, your soul and you are ready to connect with others too. When you are connected with others you are also connected with yourself that is why moments in love are so fulfilling.
Louis Hay says: I find that when we really love and accept and APPROVE OF OUR-SELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE, then everything in life starts working. It is as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become more fulfilling and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without even our trying.
Love Yourself, Heal Your Life:
Could you imagine that just by loving ourselves, we can resolve most of the problems in our lives? We will discover our true calling. We will feel encouraged to pursue our passions and we will start building a life around that, meaning, doing exactly what you really love. You will fulfill your dreams effortlessly while staying peaceful.
Many of world’s problems can be addressed, such as many physical and mental diseases, suicidal tendencies, child abuse, crime against women, poverty, hunger, malnutrition. In order to bring change in the society we need to grow up emotionally. Human beings collectively are very immature emotionally. There is a thing called emotional intelligence, and we haven’t privatized it. We have focused primarily on developing our scientific, physical, mental and technological capacities while seriously neglecting our emotional development.
Just imagine what would be possible if every child was taught how to be deeply compassionate with themselves and others. If we simply learn to process our emotions in a healthy way, we would keep our hearts open, we would be more compassionate and all of our relationships would be far healthier and more fulfilling.
Love is a powerful healing medicine. Love is a powerful tool to success. Love for yourself and for others gives you lots of energy plus motivation to achieve success. If we can engage ourselves in the activities we really love we can achieve success beyond imagination. We can fulfill our dreams effortlessly.
Some Do’s And Don’ts:
As I mentioned earlier: to experience love is so easy, just stay in the present to present yourself this wonderful panacea of all illness and happiness. I know some of my readers may still be perplexed as to what exactly to do and what not to do in order to taste the nectar of love. Let us learn, step by step, how to love scientifically. Just doing first 3 things your energy level will be doubled.
I.Forgive everyone including you and set yourself free from all past experiences. For most of us it may not be so easy but it’s the very essential first step. Forgiveness can even cure a disease like cancer.
II.Accept yourself the way you are. I mean your color, caste, your birth, your body, your strength and your weaknesses.
III.Love your body: Love all your body parts, all organs, all cells for wonderful work. They perform at their optimum when you love your body as much as you love your car or motorbike. Then you will stop putting all the junk food inside it. You will definitely do some exercise to keep it fit and you will allow your body to relax.
IV.Stop criticizing and start appreciating yourself.
VI.Do what you love and love what you do.
VII.Be willing to change. People can not change but you can change. Some times it may be difficult but just affirm your willingness to change and nature will help you.
If readers still need more guidance on this subject, they may apply for the 2 day transformation workshop, LOVE YOUR-SELF, Heal Your Life based on the philosophy of Louis Hay.